REconnected

I spent the weekend in Murrieta Hot Springs laughing, praying, talking, and connecting with close to a hundred women. An important theme of the weekend was partnership and boundaries.

 

Something I learned that I did not know before is how many women believed the lie that other women do not want to hear their fears, achievements, and even just their feelings. When you say it (or read it) it seems ridiculous (or ridiculously true), right?

I know for myself, I have been burned in the past by friends and people that I trusted with my heart. That is why it is SO important to create a healthy partnership with people you can rely on. But, the way to do that is not to harden your heart from potential partnerships. And, it is also not to share yourself with every person you meet.

These may sound like opposing concepts but they are not. Proverbs 4:23 tells us “Guard your heart above all else. For it determines the course of your life.” Not everyone deserves your heart. Be choosy, not closed off.

I had to learn this the hard way. I am naturally very open, but people used my pain against me and did not value what I had shared with them.

This can be as damaging as never sharing with anyone.

Does this all seem weird? It probably feels a little weird if you have not been exposed to healthy relationships or if you did not grow up talking about those feelings I mentioned. It is so #trending right now to not Feel the Feels.

But I think if we were all really honest with ourselves we would find that there is some deep hurt, buried desires, and unspoken dreams longing to come to the surface.

“What do I do?!?!?!” you may be asking yourself.

Stop. Collaborate. And Listen.

No just kidding, but actually… yeah.

Stop. Take a minute to pray (meditate, journal, or just sit) and ask God (or whoever) what you are longing to talk to someone about.

Collaborate. Get into a healthy partnership. Maybe it is someone you already know really well or it is someone you just met. Tell them what you need from them and ask what they need from you. When you have laid out clear boundaries, ask them if they want to enter into this partnership with you. It may seem cheesy and formal but I am telling you IT WORKS. When you have expressed your desires it actually gives people a chance to live up to your expectations which usually go completely UNspoken.

Listen. Or rather, talk. Whatever agreement you made in your partnership now follow through with it. If what you need in that moment is to just rap it out, do it. If you need advice lay it all out and give someone who you now trust with your heart to speak truth to you.

You may feel like you have heard this before and it does not apply or maybe you think you are one of those “lone wolf” types, but want to know something? You are not. God created us to be in connection with people and to do life with people we love. So, do not wait. Go. Now. Seriously. Get into a healthy partnership!